Funny medical joke quotes

• My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

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  2 months ago

  brain, brain tumor, dehydration, due, favorite, game, guess, headache, health, health humor, humor, joke, lack, lack of sleep, malnutrition, medical, medical joke, migraine, poor, poor position, position, sleep, stress, tumor

• My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

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  2 months ago

  anxiety, constipation, diagnosis, doctor, humor, joke, just, me, medical, medical joke, wordplay, worry

• If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

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  2 months ago

  aging, car, cd, colonoscopy, health, humor, joke, life, life joke, medical, medical joke, original, protection, schedule, technology, time

• Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

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  2 months ago

  assteroid, hemorrhoid, humor, joke, medical, medical humor, medical joke, play, play on words, pun, why, wordplay, words

• No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

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  2 months ago

  defibrillator, expectation, failure, humor, irony, joke, medical, medical joke, shock, work

• Doctor said I am terminally chill.

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  4 months ago

  am, chill, doctor, humor, i, joke, medical, medical joke, relaxation, said, terminal

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