Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Trending via Snapchat:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Just landed via X:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Just landed via TikTok:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Broadcasted on Discord:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Seen just now on Discord:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Seen just now on Threads:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Funny microplastics quotes

Funny microplastics quotes bring a splash of humor to a serious problem 🌊😂! They turn tiny, pesky pollutants into clever punchlines that make you think while you chuckle 🤔💬. Ready to dive into the lighter side of ocean pollution? These witty takes will have you laughing and learning about microplastics in no time 🌍🐢!

New funny microplastics quotes 👇

All funny microplastics quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on WeChat this month:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

11 shares on Threads this month:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

78 shares on Discord this month:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

20 shares on X this month:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

God saw you do that.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Source??? Pattern recognition.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Shared recently on X:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Spotted on Reddit:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Going viral on Slack:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Making waves on TikTok:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Freshly posted on X:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Trending via Reddit:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

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