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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,948

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Trending via Threads:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Going viral on Telegram:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Just landed via X:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Home » Funny Morning Quotes » Page 10

311 Funny morning quotes

More funny morning quotes 👇

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

0

1 month ago

around, humble, humor, i, morning, morning routine, rooster, routine, scream, wake, wake up, wander
I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

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1 month ago

am, hate, humor, i, morning, photosynthesis, sarcasm, saying, shining, sun, wake, wake up
Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

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1 month ago

black, black coffee, coffee, drink, good, good morning, humor, i, morning, oh, remark, sarcasm, tell, ulcer, witty, witty remark
I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

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1 month ago

humor, i, morning, noon, person, procrastination, sleep, time
Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

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1 month ago

good, greeting, humor, morning, personality, sarcastic, sunshine, wit
Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

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1 month ago

am, day, early, early morning, expectations, humor, i, irony, me, morning, relaxation, stockholm, Stockholm Syndrome, stress, syndrome, tell, things, vacation, work
My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

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1 month ago

bed, care, feeling, home, humor, i, morning, stay, stay home, take, take care, well
I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

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1 month ago

battery, chaos, Christmas, family, forgetting, hell, humor, i, morning, sound, still, toys
There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

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1 month ago

alarm, humor, morning, morning routine, nap, nothing, rest, routine, satisfaction, sleep, snooze
Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

0

2 months ago

accomplishment, balm, coffee, humor, morning, morning routine, motivation, routine, sweet, task

For even more funny morning quotes, hit next 👇

All funny morning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on TikTok this month:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

92 shares on Threads this month:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

66 shares on Slack this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

69 shares on X this month:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

43 shares on Threads this month:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

My life coach traded me.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Trending via Discord:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Just shared via Facebook:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Going viral on YouTube:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Going viral on X:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Trending via WeChat:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Going bananas on TikTok:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Trending via Slack:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Activity Log ✨

311 Funny morning quotes

More funny morning quotes 👇

All funny morning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨