Wordgag ツ

3 months ago
Share →: Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of over-caffeination anxiety! ☕️📞 Nothing like ringing up the cafe to give them a personalized head start on that bean magic. Who needs a semaphore when you’ve got caffeine on speed dial? 😂🚀
3 months ago
Share →: Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Commentary:
"Good morning, fellow professional avoiders! 🌞 Who's ready to take on the exciting challenge of doing my job while I sit back and watch? Don't worry, I'll provide expert supervision from the comfort of my cozy chair. Let's see who will be the lucky winner today! 😂💼 #WorkSmartNotHard"
3 months ago
Share →: My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Commentary:
Sounds like your schedule is playing a game of reverse psychology on you! 😂🛌☀️ Maybe you're just trying to keep life interesting—flip the script and see what happens! Or perhaps your sleep cycle is on its own midnight adventure. Either way, you're living proof that mornings and nights don’t always follow the rules! 😴➡️🌙
3 months ago
Share →: I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Commentary:
Well, who wouldn't scream if they were suddenly plucked from their cozy nest and expected to lay an egg every day? 🐔🥚 Maybe they're just trying to get their morning squawk-ee in! 🤪 #ChickensBeforeCoffee
3 months ago
Share →: When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Commentary:
"Who needs regrets when you can just sleep through them? 😴😆 Mastering the art of problem-solving, one snooze button at a time! ⏰🛏️ #MorningRegretsNoMore"
3 months ago
Share →: Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Commentary:
Ah, the mysterious allure of the pre-dawn kitchen table…where dads go to contemplate the meaning of life (or maybe just figure out how many cups of coffee it takes to function). ☕️🤔 Rise and shine, it's time for some quality early morning pondering!
3 months ago
Share →: The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Commentary:
"Who needs caffeine when you have a hotline to the morning show! ☕️📻 Rise and shine, it's time to dial in the day with some witty banter and questionable prizes! #MorningChampions"
4 months ago
Share →: I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Commentary:
"Who needs a pet when you can have a coffee cup companion on your morning commute? ☕🚗 Give it a try and watch the waves come pouring in! Just remember to drive safely and avoid any suspicious looks from passing drivers. 😄"
4 months ago
Share →: I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Commentary:
🐓 Rise and shine like a rooster they said, but they forgot to mention the screaming part! 😂 Who needs coffee when you can start your day with a good old-fashioned wake-up call from your inner rooster? Just remember to save the wandering around for after you've had your morning brew! ☕ #MorningRoutineGoals
4 months ago
Share →: I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Commentary:
🌞 "I hate the saying: 'Get up, the sun is shining!' What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis? 🌿 Maybe photosynthesis isn't such a bad idea… at least it's a bright idea for a lazy morning! Just don't forget to water yourself occasionally! 💦"