Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,699

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Trending via Slack:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Trending via Pinterest:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Live now on Discord:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Just shared via X:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Trending via Pinterest:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Funny networking quotes

Funny networking quotes bring a lighthearted twist to the art of making connections 🤝😂 Whether you’re awkward at events or a social butterfly 🦋, these witty lines add humor to mingling moments. Ready to laugh through the small talk and turn networking into a fun game? 🎉✨ Dive in for some clever insights that make building your circle feel less like work and more like a party! 🎈😄

New funny networking quotes 👇

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

0

1 month ago

alone, concept, ever, everything, going, hard, hard way, humor, i, learned, networking, struggle

Someone from 🇮🇸 has recently shared this quote.

111 shares on WhatsApp this month.
Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

0

2 months ago

activity, being, better, cigarette, cigarettes, dream, ever, fun, fun activity, humor, LinkedIn, networking, socializing, tool

Someone from 🇱🇰 has recently shared this quote.

99 shares on Pinterest this month.
Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

0

2 months ago

acquaintance, connection, guy, humor, knowing, knows, most, networking, relationship, skill, social, social skill, things, valuable, world

Someone from 🇸🇳 has recently shared this quote.

67 shares on Instagram this month.
There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

0

2 months ago

communication, fundamental, fundamental issue, humor, interact, interaction, issue, LinkedIn, media, networking, people, social, social media, something, wrong

Someone from 🇻🇺 has recently shared this quote.

96 shares on Discord this month.
LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

0

2 months ago

ago, desperation, drink, help, hope, humor, idiot, job, LinkedIn, networking, past, six, where

Someone from 🇦🇿 has recently copied this quote.

90 shares on Threads this month.
Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

0

3 months ago

after, behavior, dominance, humor, LinkedIn, media, networking, online, online behavior, social, social media, yours

Someone from 🇲🇷 has recently shared this quote.

116 shares on WeChat this month.

All funny networking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Twitch this month:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

11 shares on Threads this month:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Going viral on Threads:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Shared recently on Telegram:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Making waves on Threads:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Seen just now on Discord:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Just landed via X:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Seen just now on Discord:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Spotted on Discord:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴