Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Going bananas on TikTok:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Just landed via TikTok:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Trending via Facebook:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Funny pest quotes

Funny pest quotes 🐜🐭 bring a hilarious twist to those pesky critters that invade our homes! Whether it’s ants marching like tiny soldiers or spiders spinning webs like master architects, these witty lines will make you laugh instead of squirm. Get ready to see pests in a whole new light and share some giggles with friends who know the struggle all too well! 😂🐝🦗

New funny pest quotes 👇

All funny pest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

37 shares on X this month:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,498

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Spotted on Slack:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Breaking via Slack:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Just shared via Reddit:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Trending via Slack:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴