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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Just shared via Discord:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Trending via Instagram:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Just landed via X:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Spotted on WeChat:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Breaking via Instagram:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Breaking via Telegram:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Reported on Reddit:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Just shared via Slack:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Just landed via TikTok:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Making waves on Reddit:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

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