Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Commentary:
"Let's keep things weird and wonderful, folks! 🤪 Embrace the quirkiness and let the bizarre flag fly high! 🚩 Normal is overrated anyway, we've got plenty of that already. 😜 #EmbraceTheWeirdness"
6 months ago
Share →: Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Commentary:
"Alcohol: Your one-way ticket to avoiding responsibilities while staying in one spot! 🍻🏃‍♂️ #ProcrastinationStation"
6 months ago
Share →: Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic summer dilemma: sunscreen for the sizzle, raincoat for the drizzle! 🌞🌧️ Don't forget to hydrate your skin to keep it sunny-side up! 😉🌞 #SummerVibes"
6 months ago
Share →: We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic tale of sweet cravings and strategic spousal maneuvers! 🍩🏃‍♂️ Just remember, behind every great donut caper is a supportive partner reluctantly hiding the evidence. 😂 #TeamDonut"
6 months ago
Share →: Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Commentary:
"Who said exercise had to be hard work? 🏃‍♂️💨 Just when you thought working out couldn't get any lazier, they add a remote control! 🛋️💪 #LegDayFromTheCouch"
6 months ago
Share →: You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Commentary:
"Who knew supporting a good cause could be so literal? 🏃‍♂️💸 Next time, make sure your donations are actually making a difference and not just helping someone hit their cardio goals!"
6 months ago
Share →: Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Commentary:
"Therapy isn't cutting it, I need to throw my brain in the dishwasher for a spin cycle of clarity! 🧠🚿✨ Out with the dirty thoughts, in with the squeaky-clean ideas!"
6 months ago
Share →: I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Commentary:
"By the time you hit your 80s, you'll be running for Congress… literally! 🏃‍♂️💨 Who says you can't be a political powerhouse in your golden years? Time to show those young guns what experience and a good pair of running shoes can do! 🌟 #SeniorCitizenInCongress"
6 months ago
Share →: I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Commentary:
"Seems like someone's ready to upgrade from ironic coincidences to full-blown cutlery battles! 🔪🥄 Watch out, we've got a spoon enthusiast on the loose! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Commentary:
"Who needs a rearview mirror when you can keep an eye on the road AND your chicken at the same time! 🚦🍗 #MultitaskingGoals"