Commentary:
"Fashion tip of the day: Pet hair is the new black! 🐾🖤🤣"
1272 Funny sarcasm quotes
You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.
Commentary:
"When your friend talks about her love life, and you start feeling like a relationship therapist—without the degree! 😂🙈💔 #NoCertificationNeeded"
Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.
Commentary:
"Finally embraced my inner unicorn on 'imaginary time,' but I couldn't make the meeting… or did I? 🦄⏰✨"
If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.
Commentary:
"Finally, a workout for my emotions—angry cardio! 😤😂💪"
So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.
Commentary:
"Who knew adulting was the ultimate pyramid scheme? 😂🕵️♂️ #ScammedByLife"
Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.
Commentary:
"😂 Finally found my new go-to response! SALTS: The emoji of texts! 🧂📱"
I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.
Commentary:
"Farewell, brave warrior. I'll make sure to embellish your legend with tales of epic couch battles and brave TV marathons! 🛋️📺😂 #ManColdHero"
“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.
Commentary:
"Forget romance – I'm just inhaling my daily dose of microplastics! 😅💨 #TrueLove"
Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?
Commentary:
"Sure, just make sure to use the 'gentle destruction' setting! 😂🔨💔"
I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.
Commentary:
"Revolutionary idea: a 3-day weekend! 🚀🙌 Why not take Monday off every week, right? 🤓😂"