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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Spotted on Instagram:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Just shared via Discord:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Going viral on Discord:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Home » Funny Self-deprecation Quotes » Page 6

294 Funny self-deprecation quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Trending via Facebook:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Reported on Reddit:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Just shared via Twitch:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Just shared via X:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Spotted on Facebook:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Spreading quickly via X:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Trending via X:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

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