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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Spotted on Threads:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Going viral on Telegram:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Spotted on Pinterest:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Spotted on Messenger:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

307 Funny self-deprecation quotes

More funny self-deprecation quotes 👇

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

2 weeks ago

anxiety, awkwardness, fact, fun, fun fact, humor, i, introvert, myself, ocean, people, self-deprecation, social, social anxiety, tell, walk
I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

2 weeks ago

always, communication, humor, i, keep, say, self-deprecation, something, stupid, talking, worse
My body looks like I have a great personality.

2 weeks ago

body, confidence, great, humor, i, looks, personality, self-deprecation
I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

2 weeks ago

humble, humor, i, keep, lessons, life, life lessons, mess, mess up, myself, self-deprecation, time
All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

2 weeks ago

back, health, humor, irony, knees, least, me, microplastic, microplastics, repair, repair work, self-deprecation, work
I have the sex drive of a potato.

2 weeks ago

comparison, drive, humor, i, potato, relationship, self-deprecation, sex, sex drive, wit
Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

2 weeks ago

antique, auction, bidding, humor, joke, me, observation, people, self-deprecation, show
I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

2 weeks ago

birthday, birthday card, card, comparison, disappointment, humor, inside, money, person, self-deprecation
I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

2 weeks ago

choice, hate, honesty, humor, i, interaction, nice, people, self-deprecation, social, social interaction, ugly
Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

2 weeks ago

day, humor, let, man, responsibility, ruin, sarcasm, self-deprecation

For even more funny self-deprecation quotes, hit next 👇

All funny self-deprecation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

75 shares on Discord this month:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

55 shares on Slack this month:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

15 shares on Discord this month:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

75 shares on X this month:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

42 shares on Slack this month:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Making waves on Instagram:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Making waves on Reddit:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Activity Log ✨

307 Funny self-deprecation quotes

More funny self-deprecation quotes 👇

All funny self-deprecation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨