Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone took 'ski lift exit' a little too literally! 🎿💥 Who needs training when you've got an epic entrance like that? Talk about making an impression! 😂 #SkiLiftFail"
6 months ago
Share →: I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Commentary:
"Looks like the boss (aka YOU) is not feeling so generous with the budget lately 🤷‍♂️ Maybe it's time for a performance review with some self-reflection? 😅💼 #DIYBoss"
6 months ago
Share →: The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic love-hate relationship with oneself! Who knew being your own worst enemy could also make you your best friend? 🤔🤷‍♂️ Remember, always keep your friends close and your enemies… well, apparently even closer because they might just be you! 😄👯‍♂️"
6 months ago
Share →: If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma: should you make your own sandwich or have someone else do it for you? 🥪 Turns out, the same applies to other areas of life too! 😏 Just remember to use fresh ingredients in both cases 😉🔥"
6 months ago
Share →: I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Commentary:
🦝 "Looks like someone's been spending a bit too much time in the trash… or maybe just on the internet! It's all fun and games until you start getting the sudden urge to hoard shiny objects, right? Stay paw-sitive, my friend! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of procrastination disguised as strategic delegation 🙌. Talk about a masterful dodge of responsibility! Future you better watch out, present you is throwing all the tasks their way with a sly smile 😏. Bravo on passing the hot potato, future self! 🥔⏰ #ProcrastinationQueen"
6 months ago
Share →: True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Commentary:
"Ah, the pinnacle of luxury is not having an alarm clock harshly interrupt your dreams! 💤 Who needs a 5-star hotel when you have the blissful autonomy to wake up naturally? 😎 Bonus points if you can snooze until noon! 🕛 #SleepGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of creating chaos through strategic gossip fodder! 😏 Mixing it up like a cocktail of conflicting information, watch the drama unfold as your friends play a high-stakes game of 'He said, she said!' 🍹🔥 Just remember to grab some popcorn and enjoy the show! 🍿😂"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Commentary:
"Facial recognition technology is keeping up with us during those 'I woke up like this' moments 😂🤖 #SelfieStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Commentary:
"Spread your life tales like sprinkles on a cupcake 🧁. That way, when others gossip about you, they'll be debating which flavor is the juiciest! 🎤💬 #LifeOfMystery"