Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Making waves on Discord:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Spotted on YouTube:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Just shared via Twitch:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Making waves on Pinterest:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Breaking via Instagram:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Live now on YouTube:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

174 Funny self quotes

More funny self quotes 👇

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

2 weeks ago

collaboration, dream, dream work, explain, humor, individuality, joking, needs, personality, self, team, team work, work
My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

2 weeks ago

activity, dance, dance move, favorite, getting, getting out, humor, move, own, self, trying
Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

2 weeks ago

car, commute, conversation, hilarious, humor, just, me, morning, myself, self, talking
People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

2 weeks ago

conversation, humor, i, intelligence, intelligent, irony, least, myself, others, people, self, self-talk, talk, tell, wit
I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

2 weeks ago

agree, conversation, discussion, end, even, exactly, heated, humor, i, interesting, love, me, myself, self, talking, today
If I were you, I would rather be me.

2 weeks ago

advice, humor, i, identity, me, perspective, self, wit
“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

2 weeks ago

activity, comparison, cool, cruise, humor, i, okay, own, self, stunts, tom, Tom Cruise
Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

2 weeks ago

compromise, going, humor, integrity, irony, okay, self, wit
Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

2 weeks ago

advice, apps, directions, humor, just, map, mean, note, paved, road, self, travel
Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

2 weeks ago

conflict, expectations, extrovert, introvert, personality, pissed, plans, self, social, too

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All funny self quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Spotted on Threads:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Live now on X:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Spotted on Messenger:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Making waves on Reddit:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Breaking via TikTok:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Activity Log ✨

174 Funny self quotes

More funny self quotes 👇

All funny self quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨