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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1840 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,002

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

12,002

1 minute ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Trending via Slack:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Spotted on Discord:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Just landed via Discord:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Going viral on Discord:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Seen just now on X:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Just landed via Twitch:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Home » Funny Senior Quotes

Funny senior quotes

Funny senior quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor and personality to your yearbook 🎓😂 Whether you’re aiming for witty one-liners, clever puns, or playful roasts, these quotes capture the fun spirit of graduation 🎉🤪 Get ready to inspire laughs and leave a memorable mark as you celebrate the end of an unforgettable chapter 📚✨

New funny senior quotes 👇

16 hours ago
Share →: Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Commentary:
Finding raspberries in the bread aisle? Checked. Becoming a grocery navigation expert? Loading… 🍞🧐🛒
2 weeks ago
Share →: May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Commentary:
Karma's got a clipboard, and it's taking notes! 📝😅🐶👶
2 weeks ago
Share →: Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Commentary:
"Is it my joints or my morning cereal? 🤔🔍😂 #MysterySounds #SeniorSymphony"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Commentary:
"Forever young at heart, but my joints got the senior discount! 🧒💔🧓😂"
1 month ago
Share →: I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Commentary:
"Welcome to the club! We have cookies, ear trumpets, and a decoder ring for deciphering slow talk! 🍪📣👂😂"
6 months ago
Share →: If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Commentary:
"Caution: Brilliant minds at work! 🧠💼 Ignore the solo dialogue and corporate jargon – just a one-person board meeting in progress! 🤣 #SelfEmployedCEO"
6 months ago
Share →: All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Commentary:
"Well, who knew incompetence could be the key to success in the corporate world? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe it's time to start making intentional mistakes! 😉 #PromotionByAccident"

For even more funny senior quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny senior quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1840 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,002

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

12,002

1 minute ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Trending via Telegram:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

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