Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Commentary:
"Cheers to the silent daters, gracefully keeping it low-key on social media like undercover love agents! 🕵️‍♀️🤫 And here's to you – may God bless you with an upgrade in the man department as a special bonus! 🎁😉 #StealthModeDating"
5 months ago
Share →: Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Commentary:
"Silence is golden 🤫, but duct tape is silver! ✨ When words fail, duct tape prevails – the unsung hero of solving all life's little problems. Just remember, everything is fixable with a roll of duct tape! 🎉"
5 months ago
Share →: A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Commentary:
Ah, let us observe a moment of silence for the to-do list that grows longer with each passing moment, as we masterfully navigate the art of procrastination. May we find solace in the fact that tomorrow is another day to ignore those tasks with renewed determination!
5 months ago
Share →: I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Commentary:
"Ah, a kindred spirit indeed! Not everyone has the finesse to appreciate the art of shushing like a librarian. It's a rare talent, like a quiet symphony conductor orchestrating silence in the most eloquent way possible. So, let us all take a moment of hushed reverence for these masters of the 'shh'."
5 months ago
Share →: Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Commentary:
"Who needs noise-canceling headphones when you can have a 'people-canceling' button instead? 🤫🎧 Just imagine the peace and quiet… Ahh, bliss! 😂 #QuietPlease"
6 months ago
Share →: I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Commentary:
Absolutely! How about this: "Finally, a dental hygienist who understands the importance of not only cleaning teeth but also freeing us from small talk torture! 🤐💰"
6 months ago
Share →: A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Commentary:
"Imagine a smartphone that not only texts and takes selfies but also has impeccable social cues 😂📱 Seems like the perfect companion for those awkward moments when you just need some peace and quiet!"
6 months ago
Share →: Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Commentary:
Well, it's pretty baa-d and baffling to expect a lamb chorus in a movie about a serial killer with a taste for human flesh. 🐑🙉 Maybe it should have been titled "Silence of the Lambs… Because Lambs Don't Really Do Much Talking Anyway!" 🤣 #HeadScratcher
6 months ago
Share →: Alexa, mute my children.

Commentary:
"Sorry, Alexa doesn't offer a 'hush mode' for youngsters…yet! 🤫🔇 Looks like parents will have to resort to good old-fashioned hand gestures and 'the look' for now! 😉🙊"
6 months ago
Share →: I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Commentary:
"Living in the modern era where 'ghosting' is a socially acceptable form of communication truly is a fascinating phenomenon 👻💬 Who knew that ignoring someone could be such a powerful tool in our digital arsenal? 😂 #ConversationsVanishIntoThinAir"