55 Funny sleeping quotes

• I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

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  2 months ago

  cheat, cheating, evasion, finance, humor, i, joke, money, pun, satire, sleeping, tax, tax evasion

• Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

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  2 months ago

  across, bed, couple, current, diagonal, diagonally, humor, laziness, position, relationship, sleep, sleep position, sleeping, status

• Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

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  2 months ago

  different, humor, irony, late, late night, night, rest, sarcasm, sleep, sleeping, wakefulness

• My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

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  2 months ago

  even, freestyle, humor, pattern, shuffle, sleep, sleeping

• I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

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  2 months ago

  anyone, humor, i, love, miss, money, relaxation, sleep, sleeping, spend

• It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

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  2 months ago

  bedtime, humor, order, pretend, rest, sleep, sleeping, weird

• If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

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  2 months ago

  cat, coffin, Dracula, humor, pet, shed, sleep, sleeping, vampire

• Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

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  2 months ago

  advice, blanket, funny advice, humor, mattress, money, savings, sleep, sleeping, weighted, weighted blanket

• I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

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  2 months ago

  closed, eye, good, humor, rest, skill, sleeping, talent

• David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

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  2 months ago

  attenborough, david, David Attenborough, documentary, humor, life, narrating, observation, sleeping, still

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