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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Seen just now on Threads:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Trending via Instagram:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Going viral on X:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Seen just now on X:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Trending via Twitch:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Spotted on Discord:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

19 Funny solution quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

86 shares on X this month:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

48 shares on Threads this month:

My parents think they know me.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

81 shares on Threads this month:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

33 shares on X this month:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

50 shares on X this month:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Shared recently on WeChat:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Making waves on Discord:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Going viral on Facebook:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Trending via TikTok:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Just landed via TikTok:

America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

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Activity Log ✨

19 Funny solution quotes

More funny solution quotes 👇

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

All funny solution quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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