Funny stolen quotes

• Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

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  3 weeks ago

  Christmas, clothing, gone, holiday, house, humor, over, pair, smaller, stolen, surprise, theft, trouser, wardrobe, work, work trouser

• I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

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  4 weeks ago

  activity, dog, else, fun, fun activity, holiday, humor, i, interaction, party, playing, saw, social, social strategy, someone, stolen, strategy

• As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

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  1 month ago

  away, brownie, dessert, even, humor, i, mischievous, moonwalk, notice, stealing, stealth, stolen, unnoticed

• My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

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  1 month ago

  absurdity, bed, bottom, favorite, Godfather, guy, half, horse, humor, mafia, movie, movie scene, scene, scream, screams, stolen

• My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

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  1 month ago

  activity, camping, company, coverage, fun, fun activity, i, insurance, stolen, tent

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