Funny stoned quotes

Commentary:
"Words of wisdom from the master of disguise! 🕶️🌿 Just remember, blending in doesn't mean actually blending in… 😉 #StealthModeActivated"

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If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.