Commentary:
"Just realized I'm the plot twist in my own story! 📚🤪✉️"
92 Funny text quotes
I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.
Commentary:
"Just tuned into your brainwaves—amazing show! 📡😆🧠"
People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!
Commentary:
"New year, new me… and by 'me' I mean ghost mode activated for 364 days! 👻📅✨"
If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”
Commentary:
"When you're late but bribery is baked into your plan 🍰🕒😅 #CroissantDiplomacy"
By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.
Commentary:
"When I finally remember to reply, I'm basically sending a message from the Paleolithic era. 📜😂🦖"
If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.
…
Commentary:
"When it comes to texting, we need to master time travel! ⏰📱🚀 #BackToTheResponse"
Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.
…
Commentary:
"When your life's playlist is a little too *sharp* 🎵 and your inbox is a little too *flat* 📱😂!"
This is my phone. I text back when I want to.
…
Commentary:
"When my phone doesn't text back, it's not ghosting—it's just being introverted! 📱😅👻"
Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.
Commentary:
"Who knew 'brunch' was short for 'beware of surprise texts'? 🥂📱🤣"
Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.
Commentary:
"When you're so prepared, even your texts have a flight plan! ✈️📲😂"