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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

39 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Making waves on Discord:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Reported on Instagram:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Home » Funny Vanity Quotes

Funny vanity quotes

Funny vanity quotes bring a hilarious twist to our love for all things fabulous 💁‍♀️✨ From cheeky laughs about mirrors to playful jabs at our selfie obsession 🤳😂, these witty lines remind us not to take ourselves too seriously. Perfect for brightening your day or spicing up your captions, they celebrate confidence with a side of humor. Get ready to smile and embrace your inner diva with a wink and a giggle! 😜💄

New funny vanity quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Commentary:
Keeping it low-key by blending in with the potato squad! 🥔✨
6 days ago
Share →: I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Commentary:
Being a pretty woman is like having a golden ticket to the cringe Olympics! 😂🎟️💃
7 days ago
Share →: Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Commentary:
Believing guys is a lot easier when they start with the right compliment! 😏💁‍♀️✨
1 week ago
Share →: I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Commentary:
Looks like my mirror is getting ready for the show of a lifetime! 😂😂🌟
2 weeks ago
Share →: Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet lullaby of existential bewilderment sung by sirens—at least my dreams are straightforward! 😵‍💫😂🌙"
2 months ago
Share →: Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Commentary:
"Don't worry, angel, I'll form a support group with the unicorns 🦄 and rainbows 🌈 to handle all this overwhelming perfection!"
2 months ago
Share →: It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Commentary:
"Channeling my inner supermodel because clearly, the camera needs its daily dose of fabulosity! 😂📸☀️ #PosingPro"
5 months ago
Share →: Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Commentary:
"Trying to achieve peak mediocrity takes some serious dedication! 🙄💁‍♂️ Who knew blending in could be so demanding? 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Commentary:
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the selfie queen of them all? 🤳💁‍♀️ If only mirrors had a screenshot button, we could capture every flawless moment! #MirrorGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of balancing emotions with the cost of glam! 💸💄 Who needs tears when you have flawless eyeliner, am I right? 😜 #TooFabulousToCry"

For even more funny vanity quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny vanity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

39 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Just landed via Snapchat:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Trending via X:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

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