Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,415

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Just shared via Facebook:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Making waves on X:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Spotted on Facebook:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Making waves on Facebook:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

12 Funny vanity quotes

Funny vanity quotes bring a hilarious twist to our love for all things fabulous 💁‍♀️✨ From cheeky laughs about mirrors to playful jabs at our selfie obsession 🤳😂, these witty lines remind us not to take ourselves too seriously. Perfect for brightening your day or spicing up your captions, they celebrate confidence with a side of humor. Get ready to smile and embrace your inner diva with a wink and a giggle! 😜💄

New funny vanity quotes 👇

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

0

1 month ago

best, humor, media, mirror, poster, self-love, social, social media, thirst, thirst trap, trap, vanity, wall
Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

0

2 months ago

am, appearance, confidence, gatekeeping, handsome, humor, humor about looks, i, looking, looks, self-deprecating, shit, time, vanity
I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

0

2 months ago

being, confidence, cringe, humor, humor quote, i, love, pretty, say, self-awareness, self-deprecating, things, threshold, vanity, woman, women
Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

0

2 months ago

believe, compliment, confidence, flirting, honesty, humor, i, man, me, only, pretty, self-esteem, time, vanity
I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

0

2 months ago

attractive, confidence, delusional, going, humor, i, sarcasm, self-deception, self-improvement, vanity
Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, comedy, dating, day, every, gaslighting, humor, i, relationships, self-deprecation, sleep, vanity, women
Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

0

2 months ago

angel, arrogance, beautiful, being, confidence, ego, humor, humor quote, me, perfect, sarcasm, self-love, soul, vanity
It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

0

2 months ago

activity, everyone, fun, fun activity, good, important, me, media, photography, photos, pictures, self-image, selfie, social, social media, summer, vanity
Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

0

2 months ago

appearance, beauty, effort, humor, know, looking, much, regular, self-deprecation, vanity
My mirror needs a screenshot button.

0

2 months ago

button, humor, mirror, needs, reflection, screenshot, self-image, technology, vanity

For even more funny vanity quotes, hit next 👇

All funny vanity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

41 shares on Telegram this month:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

I suffer from awesomnia.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Trending via Twitch:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Just landed via Slack:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Going viral on X:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Spotted on Threads:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴