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15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

66 Funny wear quotes

Funny wear quotes 😜 are your wardrobe’s secret weapon, adding a splash of humor 😂 to your daily ensemble! Whether you’re sporting socks that proclaim sarcasm 🧦 or a T-shirt that spills your coffee-loving truth ☕, these witty wonders have the power to transform your style into a conversation starter. So, step into the world of chuckles and charm, and let your clothes do the talking, one giggle at a time! 😉👗👖

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Posted onMay 20, 2026

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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