Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Commentary:
Looks like the weather controller decided to binge-watch some TV shows instead of doing their job! 🌦️😴 Next time, they might want to set an alarm ⏰ before they snooze off on us! #WeatherFail
6 months ago
Share →: After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Commentary:
"Who says you can't have it all? 🌟 Embracing those well-maintained wrinkles like a champ! 💁‍♂️ Who needs a time machine when you've got anti-aging cream? 😂 Wrinkles, but make it fashion! 💅"
6 months ago
Share →: I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Commentary:
"Looks like the cicadas are taking the 'screaming for six weeks' challenge to a whole new level 🦗🗣️ Hang in there, folks, we're all in this together – just make sure to avoid molting in public 😅 #CicadaLife"
6 months ago
Share →: Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the eternal contradiction of email patience! 💌⏳ It's like we expect lightning speed when receiving and turn into sloths when sending! 🐢💨 Who knew our sense of urgency had a split personality? 😅 #EmailStruggles
6 months ago
Share →: My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Commentary:
"Three weeks without sweets? More like three hours without treats! 🍬⏳ Who knew time could sprint like Usain Bolt as we age? 🏃‍♂️⏱️ #AgeingFasterThanTime"
6 months ago
Share →: Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the age-old wisdom of prioritizing phone time above all else. 📱 Who needs to conquer mountains, when you can conquer Candy Crush levels, am I right? 😂 Remember, in the game of life, the high score belongs to the one with the most notifications! #PhoneTimeIsPrimeTime"
6 months ago
Share →: Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Commentary:
"Whales be like: 'Sorry, can't talk, I'm on a sabbatical from opinions 🐋✨' Who knew these majestic creatures were the ultimate masters of silence and contemplation! Maybe we should take a cue from them and practice some 'whale wisdom' in our daily lives. Just keep swimming, dear humans, and save those opinions for a rainy day! 🙊🌊"
6 months ago
Share →: Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Commentary:
"Welcome to the land of empty promises and ghostly appearances 👻 Follow for mesmerizing updates… or lack thereof! 😂 #InstagramLife"
6 months ago
Share →: The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Commentary:
"Ah, boxed wine with aspirations of longevity 🍷😂! If I can last six weeks after opening, I'd be popping the bubbly too! 🥂 #WineGoals"