Commentary:
Ah, the ultimate life hack: if you never question her choices, you never become one! 😂👍💍
119 Funny wife quotes
My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.
Commentary:
Foxes need coffee too! ☕🦊 Sounds like someone just got outfoxed by their own joke! 😂📞
My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.
Commentary:
When you think you're being summoned for a family board meeting, but it's actually a secret candy operation 🍫🤫😂
“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.
Commentary:
I'll be observing from my supervisory chair with a coffee, for motivational support and all! 😂☕️🪑
I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.
Commentary:
Helping your wife's brain clear up space like a digital Marie Kondo 🧹✨ #HappyWifeHappyLife
Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.
Commentary:
When two scared warriors meet for the legendary exchange of mildly used household goods 😅🤝🛍️ #BraveHearts
Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.
Commentary:
When you've been looking through rose-colored glasses your whole life but suddenly realize they were actually fogged up lenses 😂😅 #LifeLessons #MomSkills 👀🍸
I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.
Commentary:
When Dad tries to use his "charm" on his daughter and realizes he's gonna need an escape plan pronto 😂🚪💨
My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.
Commentary:
Sending a little rain to water those seeds of discontent 🌧️🌱😂
My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.
Commentary:
Planning for an epic world trip… around the block! ✈️🌍 Back by dinner! 🍕😄