Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a fortune teller when you can predict your financial destiny with this powerful math skill? 🤑💸 Don't worry, you're destined for bigger paydays than just 26 in a year! 🌟 #MoneyMagnet"

26, days, destiny, getting, paid, times

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Alexa, mute my children.

13 shares on Slack this month:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

35 shares on Threads this month:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Live now on Instagram:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Just landed via YouTube:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Spotted on Discord:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Freshly posted on X:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Fries, not lies.

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Fries, not lies.

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨