Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,558

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Seen just now on Threads:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Live now on Pinterest:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Seen just now on Reddit:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Live now on YouTube:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Just landed via Discord:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Just landed via WeChat:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Live now on Threads:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

3 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Saying goodnight to my work apps like the world's most digital bedtime story. 💻🌙😴

call, communication, goodnight, humor, meeting, office, office humor, outlook, remote, remote work, Teams, technology, video, video call, virtual, virtual meeting, work, Zoom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

2 months ago

amazing, center, doing, flowers, garden, gardening, humor, i, left, outdoor, where, year
Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

2 months ago

anyone, appreciate, attitude, being, fails, fun, humor, i, i told you so, joy, optimism, pessimism, pessimist, sarcasm, saying, told
My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

2 months ago

across, being, cough, cough drop, cruise, drop, favorite, funny moment, humor, illness, launch, missile, moment, mouth, reaction, room, sick, sickness, sneeze, unexpected
Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

2 months ago

humor, i, looking, lose, mind, next, next time, not looking, search, swear, time
I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

2 months ago

dreams, humor, i, love, relaxation, sleep, sleeping, thing, think, thoughts, wake, waking, waking up
“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

2 months ago

busy, humor, items, list, new, procrastination, task, to-do, to-do list, workload

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

52 shares on Slack this month:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

88 shares on Slack this month:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Going bananas on Slack:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Breaking via Reddit:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Just shared via Twitch:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨