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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Just shared via Instagram:

Avocado is just green butter.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Going viral on Slack:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Just landed via Slack:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

3 months ago

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That's one way to avoid social media fame! 📸😆🔒

camera, definitely, force, having, humor, keep, life, low quality, low-quality camera, photography, privacy, private, technology

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49 shares on Facebook this month:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

99 shares on Twitch this month:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

55 shares on X this month:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Just landed via Slack:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Just shared via TikTok:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Just shared via Messenger:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Seen just now on X:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Making waves on WeChat:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

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Activity Log ✨

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

I am thick and tired.

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

I am thick and tired.

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨