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🤔 "Making decisions without consulting future versions of ourselves could be the reason we haven't seen any time travelers yet! But hey, no news is good news… right? 🚀🕰️ #NoRegrets"

bad, choice, consequences, decision, future, humor, nobody, shows, stop, time, time travel, travel

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Live now on TikTok:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Reported on Pinterest:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Making waves on Reddit:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Just shared via Threads:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Making waves on Slack:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

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How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

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The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

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I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

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How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

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