Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🤔 "Making decisions without consulting future versions of ourselves could be the reason we haven't seen any time travelers yet! But hey, no news is good news… right? 🚀🕰️ #NoRegrets"

bad, choice, consequences, decision, future, humor, nobody, shows, stop, time, time travel, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

0

2 months ago

again, airport, arrival, being, early, early arrival, flight, frustration, hours, humor, i, management, minutes, once, only, scam, security, take, time, time management, travel
Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

0

2 months ago

animal, annoyed, bed, carry, humor, liquid, moving, pet, sleep, struggle, trying
Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

0

2 months ago

again, alarm, closing, closing eyes, extra, extra minute, eyes, humor, minute, morning, nothing, risk, sleep, snooze
If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

0

2 months ago

around, call, day, ever, friendship, humor, i, me, need, night, procrastination, return, time
Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

0

2 months ago

cynicism, disappointed, disappointment, hate, humor, never, party, political, political party, politics, satire
My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, child, furniture, guess, humor, i, next, pancakes, parenting, sticking, sticky, syrup, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Slack this month:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

52 shares on X this month:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

96 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

42 shares on Discord this month:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Trending via Messenger:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Going viral on Facebook:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Spotted on Twitch:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Just landed via Threads:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Spotted on Facebook:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨