Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

People should come with warning labels.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Seen just now on Messenger:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Trending via WeChat:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Going viral on Messenger:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Seen just now on X:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Seen just now on Slack:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Just shared via Threads:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the circle of irony! 🌳✂️📜✍️ #HumanLogic #TreeHuggerByPaper"

conservation, cut, ecological, environment, humans, humor, irony, nature, only, paper, paradox, sarcasm, save, trees

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

0

2 months ago

cooking, enough, food, gazpacho, humor, joke, lazy, soup
Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

0

2 months ago

distraction, fun, louder, mood, music, play, thoughts
Running from your problems is cardio.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, cardio, exercise, fitness, humor, problems, running
How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

0

2 months ago

appointment, awkward, awkward moment, bank, call, cancel, funny situation, humor, just, moment, say, situation, someone, sperm, sperm bank
It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

0

2 months ago

amusing, entertainment, good, health, humor, mental, mental health, popcorn, right, therapist, therapy, thing
Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

0

2 months ago

clothing, different, frustration, grief, humor, kind, laundry, losing, stain, tee, white, white tee

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on WeChat this month:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

86 shares on Twitch this month:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

28 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

15 shares on X this month:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

They expect me to work at work.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Trending via WhatsApp:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Making waves on Instagram:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Breaking via WeChat:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Seen just now on YouTube:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Going viral on WeChat:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Running from your problems is cardio.

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨