Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,336

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Just landed via Discord:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Talents: eating!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Spotted on X:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Ah, the circle of irony! 🌳✂️📜✍️ #HumanLogic #TreeHuggerByPaper"

conservation, cut, ecological, environment, humans, humor, irony, nature, only, paper, paradox, sarcasm, save, trees

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Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on TikTok this month:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a retard.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

People who don’t have Twitter are trying to show you stuff you laughed at a month ago.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Spotted on TikTok:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Live now on Telegram:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Making waves on WeChat:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Just shared via Messenger:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Trending via Threads:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨