Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,080

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Breaking via WeChat:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Shared recently on Messenger:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Freshly posted on X:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Going viral on Twitch:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Just landed via WeChat:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Trending via Twitch:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Trending via Facebook:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your autograph request turns into a gratitude card 😂✍️😅

asked, autograph, celebrity, hanks, humor, i, misunderstanding, signature, thanks, tom, Tom Hanks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This book ain’t got no pictures.

0

2 months ago

book, got, humor, joke, pictures, reading, sarcasm
Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

0

2 months ago

another, cell, cell phone, days, high, humor, i, ignore, ignore phone, message, phone, procrastination, risky, risky message, screen, screen time, send, should, time
I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

0

2 months ago

back, cut, cut back, humor, i, irony, much, self-awareness, sense, trying
Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

0

3 months ago

actually, cannibal, capture, feeding, food, getting, humor, irony, joke, me, survival, terrifying, thought, unexpected, well
I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

0

2 months ago

age, being, honesty, humor, just, mean, old, pretend, relationships, too
I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

0

2 months ago

activity, chess, elderly, elderly person, funny observation, game, hard, humor, i, just, love, observation, park, patience, people, person, playing, social, social activity

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Facebook this month:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

26 shares on Instagram this month:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Trending via Snapchat:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Just landed via Slack:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Making waves on Facebook:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Making waves on YouTube:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨