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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,764

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Breaking via WeChat:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Just shared via WeChat:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Making waves on YouTube:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Just landed via Messenger:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Just shared via Twitch:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your autograph request turns into a gratitude card 😂✍️😅

asked, autograph, celebrity, hanks, humor, i, misunderstanding, signature, thanks, tom, Tom Hanks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

0

2 months ago

challenge, daily, daily challenge, day, difficulty, every, humor, speech, speech difficulty, stutterer
Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

0

2 months ago

babe, couch, couple, everyday, everyday life, humor, ignore, lay, lazy, life, phone, phones, play, relationship, together
The more I practice, the luckier I get.

0

2 weeks ago

effort, humor, i, improvement, luck, motivation, practice, skill, success
Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

0

2 months ago

automatic, automatic door, delay, door, door delay, doors, dumb, embarrassment, enough, everyday, everyday life, fast, humor, impatience, life, me, open, social, social embarrassment
Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

0

5 months ago

analogy, closer, end, faster, humor, life, paper, roll, time, toilet, toilet paper
Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

0

3 months ago

age, apocalypse, dark, dark age, downturn, economic, economic downturn, future, humor, recession, sarcasm, slang, worry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Twitch this month:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

94 shares on Discord this month:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Seen just now on Telegram:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Trending via Reddit:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Going viral on Pinterest:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Just landed via Discord:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Going viral on Slack:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨