Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.