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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

How is it still this week?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Going viral on TikTok:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Shared recently on Reddit:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Trending via Facebook:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Just landed via Instagram:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Making waves on Instagram:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Going viral on X:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Making waves on WeChat:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

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I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.
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Commentary:
That’s the ultimate self-love move—who needs an audience when you’ve got your own comedy club? 😂👏 Whether I’m cracking myself up or you’re just “happening” to be there, I’ve got the best jokes in town! 🎤🤪 Keep laughing, folks!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Telegram this month:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

63 shares on Threads this month:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Just landed via X:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Just shared via Reddit:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Breaking via Instagram:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Spotted on Slack:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Seen just now on X:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

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