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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Going viral on Discord:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When my patience hits zero, it's time for a snack break! 🍏⏰😄

apple, Apple Watch, frustration, humor, i, need, patience, runs, technology, tracking, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

1 month ago
activity, chess, elderly, elderly person, funny observation, game, hard, humor, i, just, love, observation, park, patience, people, person, playing, social, social activity
Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

1 month ago
am, finances, humor, i, money, never, reason, self-reflection, shocked
Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

1 month ago
1, account, accounts, big, exaggeration, humor, just, likes, media, say, social, social media, water, wet
Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

1 month ago
40s, 60-year-old, age, birthday, feeling, humor, mindset, problem, self-deprecation, still, too
People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

1 month ago
humor, people, self-talk, talk, weird
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

1 month ago
activity, cancel, ever, girl, humor, i, introvert, little, plans, social, wanted

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Spotted on Threads:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

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I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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