Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,636

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Going viral on TikTok:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Trending via Reddit:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Making waves on Slack:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Making waves on Threads:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

4 weeks ago

Witty text about a joke falling flat in a Zoom meeting, humorous and self-deprecating.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your jokes are so remote, they require a Wi-Fi booster! 🤣📶 #NotEvenRemotelyWitty"

attempt, awkwardness, comedy, even, failure, Funny, humor, humor attempt, i, joke, joke failure, meeting, nobody, online, online meeting, social, social awkwardness, today, told, workplace, Zoom, Zoom meeting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

26 shares on Slack this month:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Going bananas on Facebook:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Live now on WeChat:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Just shared via Reddit:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Trending via Telegram:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Breaking via Instagram:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Never trust a wet fart.

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Never trust a wet fart.

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨