Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Trending via Instagram:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Going viral on YouTube:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Spotted on Slack:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Making waves on Messenger:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Spotted on Discord:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Just shared via Threads:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Live now on Telegram:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the board had an emergency meeting and voted unanimously for more drama! 😂👩‍⚖️📱🎭

30, again, agree, anger, back, board, board of directors, chat, communication, conflict, conflict resolution, directors, forgiveness, friends, group, group chat, humor, later, mad, means, minutes, relationship, resolution, told

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

0

2 months ago

assume, block, confidence, good, humor, i, jawline, just, killer, looks, me, media, people, personality, rugged, rugged look, social, social media
Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

0

2 months ago

community, diagnose, health, humor, media, mental, mental health, online, online community, patients, psychiatric, psychiatric ward, social, social media, Twitter, ward, where
A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

0

2 months ago

away, humor, management, micromanager, pay, someone, talent, top, walk, watch, workplace
My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

0

3 months ago

alone, alone time, favorite, favorite thing, introvert, leisure, nothing, relaxation, solitude, thing, time
80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

0

2 months ago

argument, arguments, eaten, food, humor, hunger, mood, patience, relationship, someone, start
If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

0

2 months ago

activity, away, cream, escape, ever, fun, fun activity, humor, ice, ice cream, ice cream van, me, problems, running, treat, van

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on TikTok this month:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

21 shares on Slack this month:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

33 shares on Twitch this month:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

23 shares on X this month:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Just landed via Instagram:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Spotted on Reddit:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Trending via Facebook:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Going viral on Slack:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨