Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite color is money.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

79 shares on Slack this month:

I love when the plot thickens.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?