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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Spotted on Instagram:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My recliner and I go way back.

Going viral on Messenger:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Going bananas on TikTok:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Going viral on Discord:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to laugh at a video you can't even see properly is the ultimate test of friendship 😂📱🔍

2, anything, awkward, awkward situation, being, entertainment, forced, forced entertainment, having, interaction, laugh, minutes, moment, phone, pretend, pretend laugh, situation, social, social interaction, someone, uncomfortable, uncomfortable moment, video, watch, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

0

2 months ago

appetite, asked, bottomless, bottomless pit, eater, food, humor, i, kid, lunch, meal, parenting, picky, picky eater, pit, thanks, want, yesterday
Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

0

2 months ago

best, best friend, cheese, comparison, diamonds, food, friend, friendship, girl, girls, humor, love, never, shredded, shredded cheese, snack
It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

0

2 months ago

engagement, frustration, humor, media, metrics, need, popularity, social, social media, ten, views
Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

0

2 months ago

bring, consequences, days, devastation, digestive, digestive system, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, nobody, stuffing, system, warning
All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

0

2 months ago

broken, broken people, dealing, humor, lord, me, mechanic, people, tell
My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

0

2 months ago

anonymity, band, costume, favorite, humor, joke, mask, member, music, Slipknot

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Just landed via Discord:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Making waves on Threads:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Live now on Reddit:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Spotted on Facebook:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Trending via Messenger:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨