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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Going viral on Slack:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

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It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to talk to a girl without flirting is like trying to eat spaghetti without making a mess! 🍝😅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on X this month:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

67 shares on Discord this month:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Just shared via X:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Just shared via Instagram:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Breaking via Slack:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Just shared via Pinterest:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Spotted on Messenger:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Shared recently on Discord:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

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