Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Ah, so you're saying my icy heart and mysterious aura remind you of the chilly winter nights? ❄️🌚 Well, I must say, I have been told that I have a captivating darkness about me! 😂

cold, dark, humor, me, outside, relationship, think, weather, winter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

0

16 hours ago

being, curse, dumb, game, intelligence, lie, pattern, play, playing, playing dumb, smart, still, strategy, survival, survive
Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

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2 months ago

buying, comparison, even, haircut, humor, just, new, old, phone, satisfaction, technology, upgrade
Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

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2 months ago

activity, beat, DIY, fun, fun activity, humor, music, myself, neighbor, practice, teaching, ukulele, wall
My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

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2 months ago

activity, correct, daughter, dinosaur, dinosaurs, fun, fun activity, hobby, humor, me, misidentifying, parenting
You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

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5 months ago

embodiment, expression, frustration, human, humor, insult, reaction, ugh
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

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2 months ago

buy, divorce, fee, happiness, humor, legal, legal fee, money, never, paid, payment, relationship, said

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Discord this month:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

20 shares on Discord this month:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

38 shares on Facebook this month:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

77 shares on Slack this month:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Trending via Twitch:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Making waves on Messenger:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Making waves on Telegram:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Spotted on Reddit:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Breaking via Instagram:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Going viral on Facebook:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Just shared via WeChat:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Live now on TikTok:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨