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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Making waves on Messenger:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Breaking via X:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Making waves on WeChat:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Trending via Twitch:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Breaking via WeChat:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

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It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.
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Commentary:
"Finally permission to let go of my 'museum of ancient tech boxes'! 📦✨ #BoxHoarderNoMore"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

36 shares on Slack this month:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

29 shares on Threads this month:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,722

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Making waves on Pinterest:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Seen just now on WeChat:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Just landed via X:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Spotted on X:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Breaking via YouTube:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Just shared via Instagram:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

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