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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Making waves on Telegram:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Just landed via Discord:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Going viral on Instagram:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Making waves on X:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Broadcasted on X:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Forget polar bears, it's time for 'polaresque' refreshment with a touch of citrus! 🍋🐻❄️"

animal, bear, bears, climate, exaggeration, hot, humor, ice, ice bear, joke, lemonade, lemonade stand, opening, stand, summer, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

0

2 months ago

20s, actually, breaking, curse, empowerment, generational, generational curse, hate, independence, man, marry, me, self-love, survive
Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

0

2 months ago

anyone, brain, confusion, else, feel, humor, hundred, multitasking, once, open, stress, tabs, thoughts
I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

0

2 months ago

bigger, expectation, humor, i, joke, lot, microbiologist, science, size, today
If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

0

2 months ago

answer, funny response, give, giving, humor, joke, lightheartedness, me, playful, playful threat, question, response, serious, serious answer, silly, silly question, threat, wedgie
The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

0

2 months ago

activity, cocktails, dining, dinner, enjoyment, food, fun, fun activity, getting, going, good, leisure, life, point, restaurant
I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

0

2 months ago

admit, am, curiosity, humor, i, intrigue, people, self-awareness, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

26 shares on Threads this month:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

69 shares on X this month:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Just landed via Telegram:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Spotted on Facebook:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Live now on Pinterest:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Going viral on Reddit:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Breaking via TikTok:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨