Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Shared recently on Telegram:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Shared recently on Telegram:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Trending via Threads:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Spotted on Twitch:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When cats take fur-mover calls! 📞🐾😹

animal, answering, cat, cats, communication, greeting, humor, Japanese, phone, pun

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

0

2 months ago

button, fake, guy, humor, joke, lightning, synchronization, thunder, weather
Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

0

2 months ago

blame, clothing, frustration, humor, jeans, mystery, shrink, wardrobe
Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, childhood, distraction, entertainment, fun, fun activity, hobby, i, leisure, less, phone, screen, screen time, something, spend, time, trying, TV, watching
Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad boy, boy, day, garbage, garbage day, humor, looking, management, mischief, missed, play, rebellious, rules, today, waste, waste management
Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

0

2 months ago

boredom, caught, checking, dry, humor, i, loneliness, myself, phone, weather
I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

0

5 months ago

alone, days, else, everyone, getaway, house, humor, i, kind, myself, need, relaxation, solitude, vacation, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

54 shares on X this month:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Breaking via Twitch:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Just shared via Telegram:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Spotted on WeChat:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Making waves on Messenger:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨