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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I run a parody bank account.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Jan 2, 2026

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Making waves on Slack:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Going viral on Slack:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Spreading quickly via X:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Live now on Facebook:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Spotted on Reddit:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Going viral on Telegram:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Freshly posted on X:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

2 months ago

0

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good old ninja days – when headbands were cool, and stealth was your best friend! 🥋😄 These days, kids are more likely to encounter virtual ninjas in video games than the real deal sneaking up on them! Remember, the silent but deadly ninja skills are forever timeless, just like a trusty pair of leg warmers. 😉🦹‍♂️ #NostalgiaNinjas

1980s, childhood, culture, gap, generational, generational gap, humor, kids, never, ninjas, nostalgia, pop, pop culture, today, understand

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, craving, eating, food, humor, i, sandwich, whenever, wish
I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, humor, i, just, notice, noticed, post, thank, wanted, week, weeks
“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

0

2 months ago

apple, better, children, comparison, humor, life, loyalty, music, okay, playlists, quality, sound, Spotify
User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

0

2 months ago

computer, humor, idiot, mean, professional, sarcasm, technology, user, word
I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

0

2 months ago

am, contentment, happiness, humor, i, losing, losing touch, positivity, reality, touch
I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

0

2 months ago

blanket, call, couch, dream, friend, friends, human, human blanket, i, lifelong, lifelong dream, nap, napping, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

69 shares on X this month:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

30 shares on X this month:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

52 shares on Threads this month:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

29 shares on Discord this month:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I probably think this song is about me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Making waves on X:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Going viral on YouTube:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Trending via WeChat:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Trending via Discord:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Making waves on Discord:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Live now on WhatsApp:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

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