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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,260

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Breaking via Reddit:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Seen just now on Discord:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Just landed via Threads:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Shared recently on Telegram:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

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Life is just resetting your password until you die.
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Commentary:
Life is basically a never-ending cycle of "forgot password" links and CAPTCHA tests! 🔑💻 Just when you think you've got it all figured out, there goes another "reset password" email to keep you on your toes. 😂💀 #LifeStruggles #TechSavvyGhost

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

64 shares on Slack this month:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

10 shares on WeChat this month:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

58 shares on Threads this month:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,562

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Just shared via Messenger:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Going viral on TikTok:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Just landed via Discord:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Going viral on Slack:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Trending via LinkedIn:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

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