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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,775

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Seen just now on X:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Spotted on Threads:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Shared recently on Discord:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Trending via Twitch:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about life's endless struggles, comparing it to constantly resetting passwords.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Life is basically a never-ending cycle of "forgot password" links and CAPTCHA tests! 🔑💻 Just when you think you've got it all figured out, there goes another "reset password" email to keep you on your toes. 😂💀 #LifeStruggles #TechSavvyGhost

death, die, existence, humor, irony, just, life, password, resetting, struggle, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

22 shares on X this month:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

69 shares on X this month:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

42 shares on Threads this month:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

93 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media is mental suicide.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,372

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Making waves on Facebook:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Spotted on Instagram:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Making waves on Messenger:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Going viral on Twitch:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Making waves on YouTube:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Making waves on YouTube:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Trending via X:

Pyjamas straight off a hot radiator is a winner. Damn, I’m old.

Going viral on Slack:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

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