Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,256

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Just landed via TikTok:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Freshly posted on X:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Shared recently on Slack:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Going viral on WeChat:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Forget romance – I'm just inhaling my daily dose of microplastics! 😅💨 #TrueLove"

air, environmental, humor, joke, love, microplastic, microplastics, pollution, sarcasm, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

0

2 months ago

attitude, friendship, humor, joke, kindness, media, reason, sarcasm, smile, smiles, social, social media, someone, today, whatever
I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

0

2 months ago

cheese, food, humor, i, love, meet, name, relationship, significant, significant other
If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

0

2 months ago

awkward, case, conversation, eat, elevator, humor, i, joke, me, say, shut, shut up, stranger, survival, talk, talking, want
I disagree with my politics.

0

2 months ago

disagree, humor, i, irony, opinion, politics
Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

0

2 months ago

caring, city, close-knit, distance, family, happiness, humor, irony, relationships
Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

0

4 months ago

absolutely, around, calling, day, doing, doing nothing, floating, got, hr, humor, insult, jellyfish, just, nothing, office, office humor, sent, someone, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

44 shares on Slack this month:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Just shared via Threads:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Just landed via Slack:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Making waves on Facebook:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

I disagree with my politics.

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨