Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Making waves on Twitch:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Trending via WeChat:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Going bananas on Slack:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Trending via Snapchat:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Making waves on YouTube:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Making waves on Slack:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic 'friends with benefits package!' 😂🙈 #FriendzoneGoals"

attraction, dating, friend, friendship, humor, men, relationship, sexual, sexual attraction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

0

2 months ago

actually, affection, compliment, flirting, humor, i, ID, learn, much, number, phone, phone number
God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

0

2 months ago

all-forgetting, all-knowing, forgetfulness, God, humor, ID, wisdom
Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

0

2 months ago

couple, funny situation, humor, husband, irony, lost, lost money, money, relationship, search, situation, spending, yesterday
I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

0

5 months ago

communication, even, humor, husband, i, knows, misunderstanding, relationship, silence, speaking, think
We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

0

2 months ago

gratitude, humor, just, know, laugh, lie, mirror, reflection, self-image
A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

0

3 months ago

compliment, flattery, girl, humor, me, pretty, pretty girl, self-confidence, should, sitting, sky, star

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

Spotted on X:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨