Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Freshly posted on Discord:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Just landed via Reddit:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Live now on Pinterest:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Live now on Discord:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Just shared via TikTok:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic 'friends with benefits package!' 😂🙈 #FriendzoneGoals"

attraction, dating, friend, friendship, humor, men, relationship, sexual, sexual attraction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

0

2 months ago

aubergine, bin, fact, food, fridge, humor, mistake, people, should
I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, bed, chicken, humor, i, night, rotisserie, sleep, toss, turn
Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

0

1 month ago

Amazon, cart, confirmation, confirmation email, delay, delivery, email, expectation, expectation vs reality, humor, just, kidding, lol, online, online shopping, order, reality, shipping, shipping delay, shopping, today, tomorrow, vs, week
Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, breathalyzer, checkout, drunk, feature, humor, needs, order, shopping
How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

0

2 months ago

eyebrow, eyebrow raise, eyebrows, greet, greeting, humor, i, interaction, laziness, lazy, people, raise, raising, social, social interaction
I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

0

2 months ago

anything, doing, done, getting, humor, job, laziness, motivation, procrastination, productivity, today, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

32 shares on Threads this month:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

75 shares on Threads this month:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

23 shares on X this month:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

78 shares on Slack this month:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

16 shares on Slack this month:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Shared recently on Discord:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Live now on Messenger:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Trending via Facebook:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Seen just now on Twitch:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Making waves on Discord:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨