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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,380

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Making waves on Threads:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Just shared via Reddit:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Broadcasted on Slack:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Trending via Discord:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

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Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.
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Commentary:
Arm wrestling: the ultimate bromance activity! 💪👀🤝

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

20 shares on X this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,360

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Shared recently on WeChat:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Going bananas on Threads:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Just landed via X:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Making waves on Pinterest:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Just shared via YouTube:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

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