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Commentary:
"Having a heart-to-heart with her cat 🐱 proved once and for all that this human is purr-fectly sane! Who needs a therapist when you've got a feline confidant? 😸 #CaturdayWisdom"

cat, conversation, crazy, humor, i, opinion, over, pet, talk, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My toxic trait is optimism.

0

2 months ago

humor, optimism, personality, personality trait, sarcasm, toxic, toxic trait, trait
People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

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2 months ago

back, bed, dream, dreams, follow, humor, i, motivation, people, procrastination, sleep
I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

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3 months ago

abbreviation, am, autocorrect, communication, excited, excitement, hate, humor, i, iPhone, man, smartphone, technology, texting
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

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5 months ago

advice, caffeine, coffee, energy, good, health, hear, humor, i, know, much, needs, warning
Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

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2 months ago

bouquet, caught, death, event, funeral, humor, irony, unexpected, wedding
That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

always, feel, guys, hour, humor, irony, media, much, nice, procrastination, scroll, self-reflection, social, social media, tomorrow, Twitter, worse

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Threads this month:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

13 shares on X this month:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

51 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

11 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Spotted on WeChat:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Seen just now on X:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Trending via Pinterest:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Seen just now on Facebook:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Going viral on Slack:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Trending via Instagram:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My toxic trait is optimism.

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨