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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,890

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Trending via Messenger:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Spotted on Messenger:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Breaking via YouTube:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Going viral on Pinterest:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your chairs are on an invisible workout program! 🪑💪✨

back, chair, chairs, household, humor, husband, just, laziness, magic, marriage, push, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

1 month ago

after, coming, everyone, friend, friends, funeral, humor, i, phone, take, text, thanks, want
I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

2 months ago

do nothing, humor, just, nothing, relaxation, sit, stress, time, too
There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

1 month ago

accidental, accidentally, humor, important, important person, irony, job, nothing, person, responsibility, workplace, worse
Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

2 months ago

aliens, discover, extraterrestrial, fear, hope, humor, i, life, lunatics, planets
Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

1 month ago

again, amusing, amusing moment, board, cover, everyday, everyday life, household, humor, i, irony, irony joke, joke, laughter, life, moment, noticed, today, word
Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

1 month ago

breakdancing, exercise, fitness, humor, just, motion, movement, slow, slow motion, yoga

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Going viral on Messenger:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Making waves on Twitch:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Trending via WeChat:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

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Activity Log ✨

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

If I were you, I would rather be me.

I must retire to my chambers about this.

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My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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