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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Just landed via Discord:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Going viral on Threads:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Breaking via WeChat:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Trending via Messenger:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Breaking via X:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Being my memory is the ultimate plot twist in life's sitcom! 😂🧠

humor, know, me, memory, only, revenge, suffer, suffering, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

0

4 months ago

annoyance, clock, distraction, evil, hate, i, leave, phone, red, side, technology
Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

0

2 months ago

active, active search, before, crazy, crazy person, humor, impact, life, media, modern, modern life, observation, people, person, search, social, social media, technology, technology impact
If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

0

2 months ago

friendship, gang, happy, humor, i, just, lazy, new, new year, saying, still, text, year
Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

0

2 months ago

annoying, comments, enhance, entertainment, experience, humor, i, movie, opinion, people
Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

0

2 months ago

again, car, humor, i, imagination, imagine, insect, miles, moving, oh, perspective, road, road trip, thinking, travel, trip, whenever
Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

0

3 weeks ago

boss, boss-in-law, humor, joke, relationship, wife, wordplay, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Slack this month:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

91 shares on Slack this month:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

79 shares on Threads this month:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

51 shares on Slack this month:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Freshly posted on Slack:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Making waves on Discord:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Spotted on Instagram:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Shared recently on Threads:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Trending via TikTok:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨