No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

My brain has too many tabs open.