Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.