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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.
  • Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.
  • You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.
  • You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.
  • Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.
  • My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.