Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,351

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Live now on Discord:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Freshly posted on X:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Just shared via Discord:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Going viral on Slack:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Live now on X:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"🤣 When you realize Friday is the punchline of the week! #Mood 😂"

attitude, Friday, Funny, humor, mood, nothing, patience, smile, smiling, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

0

2 months ago

computer, dark, dark mode, feel, humor, me, mode, screen, screen time, screens, staring, sun, technology, time, white, white screen
If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

0

2 months ago

activity, alone, companionship, dim, dim lights, entertainment, fear, fun, fun activity, horror, horror movie, lights, lonely, movie, put
WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

0

2 months ago

15-second, ad, culture, fire, game, humor, i, internet, internet culture, legends, raid, Raid Shadow Legends, shadow, unskippable, video, video game, war, watch, weapon, WW3
My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

0

4 months ago

comparison, favorite, humor, impatience, irony, line, lines, move, observation, queue, standing, waiting, watching
Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

0

2 months ago

body, body positivity, diet, fat, humor, okay, positivity, self-acceptance, update, wanted
“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

0

2 months ago

crazy, emotional, emotional struggle, everyone, health, honesty, humor, i, lost, mental, mental health, myself, self-awareness, self-deprecation, struggle, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Reddit this month:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

37 shares on X this month:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

100 shares on X this month:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

37 shares on Slack this month:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Breaking via Reddit:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Live now on WeChat:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Going viral on Threads:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Making waves on Twitch:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Breaking via Instagram:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨