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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,861

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Going viral on X:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Trending via Facebook:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
An actual crime against humanity: Youth wasted on worrying. Live, laugh, love…and maybe cringe a bit less! 😂🙌💃

being, growth, insecure, insecurity, personal, personal growth, self-confidence, time, waste, wasting, wasting time, ways, worst, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

2 months ago
career, celebrity, criticism, entertainment, humor, life, maybe, music, music career, nothing, problem, say, showgirl, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, time
There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

4 months ago
humor, people, physiology, reason, rude, rudeness, simply, sneeze, weakness, yell
Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

5 months ago
blacksmith, cold, cold water, cooking, feel, frying, frying pan, hot, hot pan, humor, kitchen, me, metaphor, pan, putting, running, sink, water
I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

1 month ago
before, cop, drive, driving, enforcement, humor, i, law, law enforcement, police, question, roundabout, traffic, wonder
Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

1 month ago
anything, boundary, food, good, humor, i, love, lyrics, means, meatloaf, music, music reference, reference, relationship, safe, safe word, word
It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

2 months ago
admission, admit, flirt, humor, kiss, lips, okay, want, yours

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Just landed via Slack:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Live now on Twitch:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

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One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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