Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,468

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Live now on Slack:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Breaking via Telegram:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Going viral on Twitch:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Making waves on WeChat:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Making waves on Threads:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
An actual crime against humanity: Youth wasted on worrying. Live, laugh, love…and maybe cringe a bit less! 😂🙌💃

being, growth, insecure, insecurity, personal, personal growth, self-confidence, time, waste, wasting, wasting time, ways, worst, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

0

4 weeks ago

buying, humor, ownership, owning, piracy, pirating, stealing, wordplay
Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

0

2 months ago

character, childhood, fantasy, humor, imagination, me, neverending, Neverending Story, nightmares, still, story, wolf
When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

0

6 days ago

cat, cats, certain, change, dog, dogs, flower, flowers, humor, media, notice, picture, pictures, profile, profile picture, social, social media, stereotype, weight, woman, women
I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

0

3 months ago

emotion, i, jealous, jealousy, music, only, personal, personal taste, playing, someone, song, taste, thought, uniqueness
If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

0

2 months ago

cheese, everything, food, guy, humor, say, talk, walls
My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

0

2 months ago

Discman, exercise, humor, nostalgia, past, running, shake, slow, speed, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

74 shares on X this month:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

67 shares on Slack this month:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

82 shares on Slack this month:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Making waves on Discord:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Breaking via Snapchat:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Spotted on X:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Spotted on WeChat:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Just landed via Threads:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨